faeries. 12 jun a las 05:45
Somebody once told me, when I was a little girl, "don´t look for happiness". At the moment I thought "why would I? I´m happy the way I am."
But then again, I was only a little girl. I didn´t know shit about this world and all it´s bullshit.
When I was little, I spent my time in the forest, looking for magical creatures I never found. I used to make tree houses for fairies, but when I never saw them, I started to realize. Maybe magic wasn´t real. I wasn´t sure, but there was a little tiny voice insead my head that told me so, that nothing was real and yet everything was. I decided that little voice would be my new magical creature, my new bestest friend. If the fairies wouldn´t come to me, I decided, I´d go to them.
Then I forgot. I remeber the exact day I forgot, ironically. It was the day I turned seven. My mother had a friend over, and she brought her daughter. She was my age, but she looked older. Prettier, she was, with dark hair and dark eyes, and a lovely smile. I wanted to be like her so badly, and so I tried to impress her aall day. She did not like my tree houses, she said. She didn´t like the clothes I made for my paper dolls, she didn´t like the silly dress I wore, she did not like me. But I was conviced that someday, she would. We grew up together, I was always after her, second best. But I didnt mind, because it was me she sought consolence to, it was me she talked with about all her boyfriends, it was me she laughed with every single day.
It was me, always there, holding her hand when she needed it, giving her silly advice n thigns I knew nothing of. Our friendship was a blessing in the end, you´ll see why.
When we were both 17, she decided it was time to fucking grow up. "you are so inmature" she told me, every day. She started smoking, drinking, doing drugs. Going to raves, fucking every boy in town, all of those rebellious things. And I was the silly friend in the backound. One night, we went out. She introduced me to a boy, not a sweet one either. He didn´t have a name, see, no one has a name. Just their souls, and he did definetel not have a soul. He wore broken clothes, leather bracelets and had a wonderfull tattoo on his left arm. He was simply a boy. But to me he was passion.
That night, he gave me something, and I accepted. I wad tired of being the silly friend. He gave me something wonderfull, and I spent the rest of the night dancing, I felt the passion, heat, cold, terror, the exeptionally thrilling terror. I saw him laugh, and at first, it was pleasant, but the I looked closely, and I saw. His sould was a hole, his eyes were black like coal, and his laugh was only a game.
So I ran. No body realized, I just disapeared. I ran, and I ran, past all the late night beggars, all the hookers on Cherry street, and to the forest again.
I kept on running, deeper and deeper in. Then I stopped. Whatever he had given me had worked. I stood underneath one of the many trees and stroked it. "I know you exist, I can feel you", I whispered into the air.
"play with me", was the answer from above, and there I looked, and there was, a beautiful faery. Beautiful, purple, he was, with dark pupils and bright, bright wings. I started crying, my one desire had come true. The faery, my beautiful faery, gave me the most wonderfull night, but he disapeared int he morning. I had never mourned so much, I new I could not live without him.
So now, every evening, I visit the boy with no soul, and he gives me what I need, exactly what I need to see my magical friend, and that, is how hapiness found me.